I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize