he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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