I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize