I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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