I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize