no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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