called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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