I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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