My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
