She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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