At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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