it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The adults are the big ones right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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