Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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(206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

(989): View more from Michigan

By definition I think it does.

(810): View more from Michigan

So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

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(810): I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp? (989): By definition I think it does. (810): So this is what it feels like to be all that is man. http://tfl.nu/lu2t

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(816): View more from Missouri

YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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(816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would be honored to be that friend.

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(978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl

Replies (22) Good night (5815) Bad night (557)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9

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(651): View more from Minnesota

How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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(651): How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out? http://tfl.nu/x0y6

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(705): View more from Ontario

Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.

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(705): Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences. http://tfl.nu/318s

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(556): View more from

Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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(556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07

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(905): View more from Ontario

I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.

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(905): I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb. http://tfl.nu/q1zp

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.

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(202): She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums. http://tfl.nu/4fck

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(214): View more from Texas

Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life

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(214): Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life http://tfl.nu/rhcn

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(315): View more from New York

If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".

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(315): If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one". http://tfl.nu/zydx

Replies (6) Good night (1687) Bad night (566)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt

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(513): View more from Ohio

FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.

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(513): FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy. http://tfl.nu/7k1b

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(818): View more from California

You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers

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(818): You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers http://tfl.nu/8klr

Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (207)

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