we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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