you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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