Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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