Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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