The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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