Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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