can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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