Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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