I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize