we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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