it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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