evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
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Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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