I am spending my child support on dildos
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize