I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize