I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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