We won't sleep together?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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