then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize