I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize