I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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