I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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