nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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