I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So vagazzling was a success
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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