My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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