Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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