Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize