thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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