He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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