why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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