Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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