he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize