This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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