she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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