I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize