Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize