so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize