Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize