just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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